Happy 34th Birthday, Me

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I have it in my calendar to write one of these every year. Two years I wrote for 10 years out, this year I’m writing as if it’s my 34th birthday (so, one year from now).

I enjoy circling back to these entries in my journals, and on my blog, and seeing how much of it has become reality. There’s something to writing it down, almost like it gets submitted to the subconscious mind, and from there it becomes directional. Something to be drawn towards.

I’m not convinced that getting what I want is the hard part. I think it’s trickier to truly figure out what I want in the first place.

I’m also wondering if getting what I want is how happiness happens – or if it has more to do with wanting what I have. There’s a potential snag in this line of thinking:

  1. I’m not happy until that moment I get what I want or
  2. I’m embracing stagnation by not pursuing my goals

There has to be a bit of both I think, at least for me. I’m at my happiest when I’m setting little goals and achieving them. They add meaning to my days, and give me something to chase, which feels good and requires discipline. Discipline I can always have more of, and it rarley feels good to exercise it, but its fruits are tasty.

But it also clearly feels great to meditate, to let go and to trust that everything is going to turn out alright. That I don’t have to control things. And maybe that I don’t really have much of a say in my fate anyway. That last thought is a weird one, and it comes from Sam Harris’ app, Waking Up which I’ve been using as guided daily meditation. It’s been really good so far. But he says we have no free will, that we’re as much a reaction in the universe as anything else. I struggle to understand the validity of this, but it does seem as though he’s onto something. It also seems to me that if there’s even a trace of authorship in my life which I control, I’d better fucking slam that pedal to the ground and do the best I can with it.

Nobody wants to die with a full tank. Fuck that.

So where do I want to be, and what do I want to have done by my 34th birthday?

Here’s my Google Keep list:

  • Deliver on family time every day
  • Earn $10,000 in online info product sales (Publish 100 FrisbeeThrows videos/blog posts, Master the funnel, actively engage and grow community, grow email list to 1000 “true fans”)
  • 25 frisbee videos / blogs by the time we leave Ecuador
  • Bad first draft first info product for sale
  • Invest $40k
  • 5 minute breath hold
  • Lift 1000lbs between deadlift/bench/squat
  • Dunk a basketball on a 10ft rim
  • Get my first cutback surfing
  • Meditate every day
  • 3 month Duolingo streak to jack up my Spanish
  • Clear $100,000 in income
  • Hire someone to both build and maintain websites for Butter

Getting out of my own way mentally helps. I have thoughts pinned to some of these goals, old thoughts, that the goal itself is out of my reach somehow.

When I was 32, I learned some of the truth behind the Henry Ford saying “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.”

How do I just flip that switch though, mentally? For dunking, it was looking laterally to other guys my size and under, on YouTube, dunking basketballs like savages.

For income, it had more to do with looking at how I was spending my time and being more efficient. Putting in higher quality work on tighter time constraints. People way busier than I am do way more than I do, and are happier too. I have no excuses.

So I think the first step is going to simply be sitting with these goals, and having them solidify in my mind as “100% doable”. So doable, they begin to feel inevitable. That’s a great place to operate from.

So I’ve got my list! We’ll see how the year goes.

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